- Current Mood: crushed
I take it you're not here to deliver the pizza I ordered three years ago.
I really wanted that pizza...
- Current Mood: geeky
- Current Mood: drained
Most of my adult life I have given a fuck. I cared what other people thought, was mindful of my reputation, and the opinions of others mattered, whether they thought well of me or not. In my youth it was quite the opposite, I generally did what I wanted and rarely cared what others thought of it. But as I grew older and gained more responsibility something changed, opinions and perseptions started to matter way too much. People often say the key to confidence and success in life is to simply “not give a fuck.” Indeed, we often refer to the strongest, most admirable people we know in terms of their lack of fucks given. Chances are you know somebody in your life who, at one time or another, did not give a fuck and went on to accomplish amazing feats. Perhaps there was a time in your life where you simply did not give a fuck and excelled to some extraordinary heights.
This is much easier said than done… Developing the ability to control and manage the fucks you give is the essence of strength and integrity. We must craft and hone our lack of fuckery over the course of years and decades. Like a fine wine, our fucks must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the most special fucking occasions. But how does one go from always giving a fuck, to not giving a fuck when appropriate. What we don’t realize is that there is a fine art of non-fuck-giving. People aren’t just born not giving a fuck, at least the good ones…. In fact, we’re born giving way too many fucks. The ability to reserve our fucks for only the most fuckworthy of situations would surely make life a hell of a lot easier. Failure would be less terrifying. Rejection less painful. Unpleasant necessities more pleasant and the unsavory shit sandwiches of life a little bit more easy to swallow. I mean, if we could only give a few less fucks, or a few more consciously-directed fucks, then life would feel pretty fucking easy, but of course, life is nothing but easy.
Most of us, most of the time, get sucked in by life’s mean trivialities, steamrolled by its unimportant dramas; we live and die by the sidenotes and distractions and vicissitudes that suck or knock the fucks right out of us. But there are subtle and powerful ways to determine when or where not to give a fuck without making an unfeeling completely indifferent asshole out of yourself.
Not Giving A Fuck Does Not Mean Being Indifferent; It Means Being Comfortable With Being Different
When most people envision giving no fucks whatsoever, they envision a kind of perfect and serene indifference to everything, a calm that weathers all storms. This is misguided. There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are self-centered and scared. They’re couch potatoes, internet trolls, or the douche bag that risks their own and your life passing you on the freeway. In fact, indifferent people often attempt to be indifferent because in reality they actually give too many fucks and actually care about how people judge them. They are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices. Therefore, they make none. They hide in a grey emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitied, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life, or they are just completly self-centered uncaring assholes...it happens.
To Not Give A Fuck About Adversity, You Must First Give A Fuck About Something More Important Than Adversity Or Yourself
Everyone needs a cause, question is, is that cause worth sacrificing your time, frustration, or well-being to accomplish. This is where the adversity factor comes in, how much does what you believe in mean to you and how much are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish it? Or do you feel your sacrifice justifies the cause? This is where you have to decide whether to give a fuck not. If it’s not with your worth your fuck, you have to let it go… Do you really care that much about a sports team, band, or TV show? Do you spend way too much time doing things you don’t particularly like just to be in the company of others? Constantly check your Facebook status or can’t part from your phone because you might miss that ever important message? Did you really need that parking space, to be first in line, or catch that elevator? If so, then get a fucking life! There are much more important things in the world, and in your world in particular you need to prioritize them and decide what you truly give a fuck about.
We All Have A Limited Number Of Fucks To Give; Pay Attention To Where And Who You Give Them To
When we’re young, we have tons of energy. Everything is new and exciting. And everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we give tons of fucks. We give a fuck about everything and everyone. About what people are saying about us, about whether that cute boy or girl called us back or not, about whether our socks match or not or what color our shiny new possession is. As we get older, we gain experience and begin to notice that most of these things have little lasting impact on our lives. Those people’s opinions we cared about so much before have long been removed from our lives. We’ve found the love we need and so those embarrassing romantic rejections cease to mean much anymore. We realize how little people pay attention to the superficial details about us and we focus on doing things more for ourselves rather than for others.
When deciding whether or not to give out fucks there are two special categories to be aware of; the unrequited fuck, and the pity fuck. Sometimes you encounter people, causes, or situations that are worth a fuck, but they will never give fuck about you. These are toughies, and it is up to you to decide whether it is worth your fuck or not, or if giving your fuck will only cause you pain.
The pity fuck is another matter, sometimes the pity fuck can be really rewarding when you give it even though you didn’t want to and it does a lot of good or is returned in ways you couldn’t imagine. Or…it could spark unwanted attention and cause the recipient or yourself great pain because you will have to withdraw your fuck at a later date and makes you feel like a complete smuck.
Personally, this is the hardest one for me to conquer. From a very early age my world revolved around servitude and reward and my life and sense of accomplishment had been molded by that model. I joined the Army to serve my country, and then went into federal service determined to live a life of servitude. My friends, family, and free time all fell to the wayside whilst I worked achieve this goal. It is only very recently that I have been able to prioritize and realize that I too am important and even selfless acts can be meaningless ones… Unfortunately, I learned this lesson far too late and deeply regret the opportunities and relationships I lost in the process by my many misplaced fucks over the course of my life.
So now comes the hard part... I must learn to practice what I have preached. Recently, I had a devastating breakup; losing someone I cared for so deeply made me realize that I needed to completely reprioritize my life. The first step, was being able to decide what I truly gave a fuck about and to learn to value myself if I was ever to find any joy in my life. It will be a long journey, that I have taken the first few steps on the path alone, but hopefully, I will be a better person for it in the long run.
- Current Mood: depressed
This article originally appeared at Wyofile.com.
Dan Eakin waited out the Boulder Ridge Fire hoping that the wooden sheep traps would survive. They didn’t. But when the senior archaeologist with the Office of the Wyoming State Archaeologists arrived on the Shoshone National Forest in 2003, shortly after the 11,000-acre blaze subsided, he found that an entirely different historical treasure had made it through.“In the timber we found these Pompeii-like sites,” he said. “It looked like people had just packed up and left.”The sites, previously hidden from scientists by layers of combustible vegetation, dated back thousands of years and included prehistoric artifacts and more recent items from trading with Europeans. “Sites like that are almost non-existent,” Eakin said.Yet as wildfires burn hotter, larger and more frequently more of these sites are appearing in Wyoming.
Past Troll: A mythical, cave-dwelling being depicted in folklore as either a giant or a dwarf, typically having a very ugly appearance.
Present Troll: Someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.
However you define it they are still monsters....